Of heart, mind and soul

To YOU!

2011-12-01T21:45:00.000-08:00

It's in her eyes and she knows its true,
No one could ever make her feel, the way that you do.
Why then does she hide it and denies?
Why the resistance, why all the lies,
When he can see the truth speaking through her eyes?

He fears to admit it but he knows it too,
He doesn't want to live without her, he dreads the thought of having to.
It's beyond his naive mind to understand,
Why he felt so complete the day he had held her hand.
Why then does he not let it take control?
Why not give it a chance and let it flow?

Its incomprehensible, this power of love.
Maybe that is why its called the gift from up above?
Don't they just not want to see?
Them being together is just meant to be?

A ray of light is just all it takes,
To tell the real apart from all the fakes.
Its probably still dark, the dawn is yet to arrive,
Till then they must bear it, they must struggle to survive.

The darkest cloud also flees at sunrise,
The shining glow, upto then remains in disguise.
This serene morning they too would wake up to and see,
Then they'd realize that fairy-tales are for real - they just have to believe.

Years later when they'd look back and see,
They'd know it'd all happened for a reason; some call it destiny.
A new page gets written every night and day,
This book thus read tells us that life works out in mysterious ways.

"And so you know"

So I heard...

2011-10-30T12:13:00.000-07:00

Probably there came a time in his life when EVERYTHING fell apart! He lost his sense of direction, where he’d go and what he’d do. He just couldn’t go on believing in all that was good and beautiful! The smile he’d flash was just a mock, the laughter of people around; a guffaw at his misery, and that reflection in the mirror – just doesn’t recognize the face it knew before. Sick, as it may all feel, that was the ground reality. Rock-bottom, and hit so hard on the spine, that the tiny little hole way up there, scintillating just about enough sunlight to catch the eye could very much be a mere illusion. Burnt, bruised, hurt and pained, the god damned breath pumping through the lungs became a curse, disallowing him to meet his fate, ridiculing the vision of his eyes with the little dash of that remote sunlight. He just lay – motionless, caring pittance for anything..everything...
Probably, he’d never want to get back up again..but then probably he just TRIED to.

For every wrong, there’s got to be a right.
For every silent prayer, there’s got to shine the Heavenly Light.
For a remorseful past, a future to reveal the futility of grief over what’s been done.
For every moment of loneliness, a tight hug for each from a beloved someone.

For every moment of pain, deliverance to finally come through.
For what's been lost, the joy of finding something new.
For every time that your faiths faltered, the Holy Cross making itself show.
For every failure, a lesson to learn, just so that you must know!

For all the sleepless nights, a day to finally revel in bliss.
For all the hate that’s been fostered, the heart to find love and be at peace.
For every broken heart, a love so great, for it to rise above all the pain.
For all the worries, an answer to say that the worries were all in vain.

For what is yours, can never be lost,
For, in life, hope is all you’ve got.
Come around the circle, come home to yourself,
The journey may be long, but in the end, it’ all worth it, I guess….

“YES?”

P A T I E N C E

2011-05-28T10:51:00.000-07:00

So, what is it about patience that is so irritatingly optimistic? Why does she have to so convincingly say: Keep patience, the fruits it’ll bear will be sweet. Why do the lessons learnt about it the past twenty five years keep getting revised every year and the marks to pass that exam higher?

PATIENCE!!! Lately, I’ve been bumping into this word a lot, especially since the past six months. So much so, that I have come to believe that I am in a live-in relationship with it! The exasperating truth it bares - so obvious for you to see, the wretched wait in disdain and despair and finally when you are bereft of the hope of ever seeing the daylight again that you’d so desperately been waiting to see, the sun slowly shines through from behind the darkest of the clouds. It’s like the endless wait of the woman for her man at the station who’s been away for months fighting at the war. And finally when the day comes that he is to arrive, she puts on the brightest of her floral dresses, wears the most fragrant perfume and turns up at the station hours before the train is to arrive. But alas! She doesn’t see him getting off; pained to know that he may not show up in that train that day. She begins walking away; all her wait in vain. And then ever so slowly, advancing towards her, she sees him at the door of the train. As if it’d all been planned all along, as he’d been on his way back the moment he’d left!

It should really take some mettle to live and bear with this word. There should really be some magical charm about it. For, from the many stories told, from the many lessons learnt, you just have to wait for Deliverance to be delivered to your door!

And you know what? When the right time comes and the truth be revealed, you’d know that in the end, it was all worth that wait! :)

“Hey, the clock’s still ticking man!
Ahhh, that’s a good sign – the countdown’s begun!”

On a Thursday Morning....

2011-04-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

When the future seems blight, and hopes turn bleak,
When there’s despair all around, and respite is only what you seek.

What would you do? What then would you do?

Would you hold on patiently ‘til deliverance came your way?
Would you still believe that redemption awaits, let this haze of mist be blown away?

Or would you take charge of it all and choose a different trail?
Believe in yourself over your destiny, albeit taking a different course, to let the ship sail!

You could walk either ways, you are eventually to get only where you are supposed to be,
I don’t know if grass is greener on either side, but what you choose makes your destiny.

"And So, It Shall Be!"

This too shall pass….

2011-04-09T11:28:00.000-07:00

So, I completed FIVE MONTHS yesterday living away from HOME in this “quaint little town” as I like to call it. FIVE MONTHS!!! I didn’t really know what to expect when I got here. It was a mere coincidence that I thought I’d get a whiff of what it is to be on the “other side”. ;) And there is no checklist or scorecard I’m carrying to conclude how I’ve fared in these past few months! It’s an experience – you cry, you crib and cringe and complain, you laugh, you enjoy, you get frustrated, you get bored of boredom, you amaze your ownself, you love it and you hate it at the same time, you realize and value things you had and yeah, you do smile, a smile that can be understood only by you! :) You go through it all and you pass through it ahead, to take on new ones!!

What really did matter through it all? Infact what really did ever matter in all the experiences that you’ve ever had so far? For looking back to them, I just do see them as a part of my memory, mere impressions on my heart! For it all is no longer there! All of it, all through it, it’s just the experience of things that’s come along with you – nothing more!!

I now admire the discovery and the realization that mankind had – Earth is round. So, what is seen from a distance as the end of the road, was nothing more than the bend in the road! And like ever before, the “end” or rather the “bend” too did pass…..and so now you know… :)

So, hold the head up high, let your shoulders have their space!
Walk through, walk past, with your chin up, and wear the smile on that face!

“Manzil mil hi jaayegi, chahe bhatak kar hi sahi,
Gumraah toh vo hai, jo ghar se nikle hi nahi”

HOLD ON!!!

2011-03-13T10:47:00.000-07:00

Hold on, Hang on, let it linger a little while,
I know that you are sad, but you can still flaunt that fake lil’ smile.
The music’s still playing, the bands still in spirits alright.
Don’t hang up your dancing shoes just yet,
Not before the band calls it a night.

Songs will change, as would the rhymes,
The nights still young, you too would find your rhythm – just give it some time.
A night like this may never come again,
It’s all changing, just like it’s always been.
These moments, these times,
Live them up while they are there!
Hold on, hang on, and let it linger too,
Yep, it’ll always be there! :)

“Glad, aren’t you?”

Risen

2011-02-18T10:34:00.000-08:00

It was not about winning. Neither was it about pride nor glory. The future was pushed back to oblivion and the past had raced way ahead. Nothing was at stake here. There was no question hanging in the air either. It just had to be either way – black or white! No mid-way!

His feet pranced on the ground beneath his feet. His hands didn’t tremble this time as his fingers clasped the cold handle. They had before when he had come across such confrontations but not this once, not at all. The aura of his presence emancipated confidence - the kind a person has when ignorance of the entirety around takes full control of the senses and it overpowers one to the extent that one knows nothing, sees nothing, and thus, has the power to believe everything!

Another step forward and they bowed before each other, never taking their eyes away. The cold rage in his eyes was the purpose and the cause of what the thousand pairs of eyes were to witness. Those eyes, their voices, their multitude thoughts about the righteousness were as distant from him as were his own senses from this cosmos. The sound of the sword when pulled out told him – This is IT! He had just one thought on his mind – To Slay! Whatever is to come up ahead, whatever is to obstruct his way, whatever his sword could make contact with. This thought brought him the kind of power he had only heard stories of as a child. What was he out there for? Because he was there, because he had chosen to, because it was unto him, because he just had to do it, was he The One?!

The swords struck each other twice each demonstrating its power to the other. The third time, the flesh gave away as the blade made it’s way through, testing the extents of their will and frenzy. Gasps followed by silence filled the air. Would the battle choose its victor or would the mind prove that there is no duality – that there actually is no battle that hails one and shames the other. There could only be one, The One?!

“As art thee – Reflections!”

From the Shadows….

2011-02-05T03:57:00.000-08:00

Oh you mere mortal! Slave to the fate!
What powers do you possess – greed, jealousy and hate?!
Chasing forever the elusive happiness, oh! You creature so meek!
Do you even know what is it that you seek?

I do mock you, and I mock you on your face,
Oh right! I see that you are too busy, busy finding your way out of this self-created maze!
You can’t bear the pain; you can’t even share your joy.
Bound and tied, aren’t you? While destiny tosses you around like a toy.

Always seeking that one perfect moment, when christened you shall be, to be seated at your throne.
Oh yes! Surely you’ll get there. But sadly, you will be all alone!

Can you just be happy being what you are?
Can you be satiated just doing what you do?
Do you even realize it’s all very close, never been that far?
If only you could see that it’s all out there, just out there for you?

Saying this, the devil dropped his dark cloak,
There was light all around, as the angelic eyes smiled at this young bloke.
How could he have not seen that it was Him all through?
Even when he felt he’d lost it all,
He came down Himself to say – I am with you!

“A Breather”

Of the Lost Charm

2011-01-19T09:13:00.000-08:00

Cold silence beseeches the fogged eyes,
Eyes which don’t hold the familiar smiles.
A word of cajole, a noise of laughter like we last had,
Alas! It’s sad but true, just the memories of the past shall now ring in the head.

A phone call now doesn’t sound like the days of yore.
Once, if it ever does come by, sounds nothing more than just a chore.
Hurried words, just to let you know,
That it’s not to be the same, won’t ever be – anymore!

Curse the world, for it’s not your fault,
Or implore the Lord, for you just want the time to halt!
Your vision of the future is mocking back at you,
The old is gone. What? Where? Who? Nope, nothing new.

Drooped shoulders, head buried to the ground,
Time has burdened the soul, the magic is not to be found.
Tells a million tales of how it had all been,
Now lives with what is, the lost charm, never again to be seen….

“Deal With It!”

To ALL

2010-11-03T02:33:00.000-07:00

The last episode of FRIENDS flashed past in my mind,
That empty room, the packed bags, the silence of a weird kind.
I sat and pondered over it; as the grains slipped through my hands,
Does everything that has a beginning always have to end?

I looked back in time, through all the days that have been,
The schools, the colleges, the faces of people that I’ve seen.
Some went away, some new ones came in.
Distance brought some people closer,
some others faded away in life’s din.

The optimist is no coward, but he won’t raise his sword,
His belief in the good remains untouched, that’s his eternal divine cord.
This shield of faith, he uses to defend,
But the question still remains:
Does everything that has a beginning really have to end??

The seasons keep changing, but the sun has always shone,
The tides have gone through lows and highs,
But the sailor made it to coast, with his grit alone.
The birds would never have touched the skies,
Had the promise of a tomorrow not strengthened their wings,
For everything that ends, there is a new beginning.

"Come Around A Full Circle!"

The Gift

2010-10-08T09:31:00.000-07:00

Go on, don’t stop, keep moving ahead,
Just take this leap of faith without being scared.
If you succeed, a swell of pride awaits your reflection in the mirror.
If you fail, that would be one less thing that you’d have to fear.

The road ahead is tricky for sure,
With twists and turns and bends on every corner.
Takers of it are few, challengers to the path even fewer,
But faith and valour are the only virtues that the path’d honour.

What awaits you at the end of the road?
Diamonds, jewels, or maybe a pot of gold?
Don’t you want to know what the future holds?
So, go on, keep moving, for your destiny, you shall mould.

Every second on the path is rewarding, yet every moment priceless.
As it unfolds, the more you know, it just begins to feel less.
This quench for knowledge, this thirst to learn – do not let it die.
Keep moving ahead, the path itself shall be unraveled before your eyes.

When you’ve walked the distance, you’d look to this note and smile.
The smile will speak of the journey, the eyes will tell story of the truth realized!
So, go on don’t stop, keep moving ahead,
Just take this leap of faith, for it’s all there!

“Always :)”

The Checklist

2010-10-01T12:37:00.000-07:00

I realized that it’s been a good amount of time since I last put something down here and so this one comes out. This one’s about the other thing that I’m putting down on paper almost everyday – The Checklist!

Travelling/moving out to other town is an exciting affair. It works on the 3 Ps – Plan, People and Place. All three are vital ingredients. And it’s a long haul from the Plan on the paper to actually getting down to the Place with the People! All along, it’s the loyal checklist keeping you company.

As I am just over a month away from moving out of this city to a new life at a new place with new people, I finally have a decent one in place after struggling with it when I first began. To begin with, I had more than one. One was for the things to carry there detailing even to the number of spoons that I shall humbly bear the weight of along with the rest as they’d all accompany me to this quaint little town – I’d like to call the pair of bags that I’d carry Mr. & Mrs. Life-Lords respectfully so. The list still does get updated every once a while, literally on the paper. The other one – the mental checklist – had the things which I would want to do before I bowed out and away. And that’s when the darned feeling hits you harder – “Man! This is it!”

So, amidst watching the repeats of “How I Met Your Mother" and the not-so-hurried-meals and lazing around in general through the day, I go out doing those things and then crossing them off the list. It is fun as those are the only “productive” things happening in these blissful idyllic times. It’s also fun because you are pouring your heart out; for you do know that the list has the things which are closest to your heart and also the things which you are going to miss the most while away.

This post was one on the list, so having crossed that one off list, I await the morn’ – for the plan is ready and so are the people, Rajasthan – I’m on my way! :)

“When you know, you know!”

Glorified Pain??!!

2010-04-24T16:45:00.001-07:00

Amidst nodding heads, the music picked up the tempo. The drums slowly began beating faster and harder. The voice screeched about the pain of an infant abandoned by its very mother. And the guitar gave soul and feelings to his vocals. Irony that the place which I somehow find having a divine touch, had at that time been an audience to people enjoying this saga of Glorified Pain!

I searched the crowd, looking for faces to give away stories that made them relate to this sardonic melody being unleashed at them. I somehow wanted to soak and lose myself to every note being belted out, which was so carefully created to carry the theme of the song in it. And in that state of mind, I found a tussle happening within – one between the heart and the mind – one wanting to let out its story of pain and the other trying to find a logical way out of this externally infused emotion trying to pull me down - this evoked me to write today.

It is a wonder how a person chooses to portray pain. I believe the defiants took to the Gothic lifestyle, tattooing their emotions on themselves for the world to see. Some others wrote songs and poems, while some had funny versions to share, pulling out the gravity from their experience in their expression. Few others just trudged along,their hearts carrying it in silence.

Is there really as much pain in life or are we just sadist creatures taking pleasure in being “unable” to come out of this mental creation of quicksand of self-pity in which we seek refuge? Before I could ponder more, a friend came calling, breaking my thoughts. I realized the song had changed as we were walking away from the place.

I look back to it now and I think I’ve got the answer to my question – in fact I did there itself. A smile from the friend who pulled me out of my ruminations, the change of song, and another party to head to – the answer: we probably just hold on to it for too long, too tight, that the smiles around, the parties ahead and the change of songs of different themes, all in all life in its different flavors, are just pushed back into oblivion.

I now smile – Hallelujah!

“Yeah, Life’s good!:)”

Muddled Thoughts

2010-03-20T23:45:00.000-07:00

They say that on the path you have people walking along; but the last steps you must walk alone. A soldier walks alone into the arms of his death. A seeker has to walk that extra mile all by himself in his quest for knowledge. A woman brings the child into the world with her man, but the pains of labour are her own.

Is it true then that solitude is your best friend? Can it be for real that you have no one else’s but hands of your own faith to hold? When the lights are turned down low, when going into your own space under the covers of your bed; detached from the world and in company of your own thoughts and feelings, do we look within or without?

In the book The Godfather, Genco pleads the Don; his best friend; lying on his deathbed : Godfather, Godfather…. cure me. You have the power…Stay with me, Godfather. Help me meet death. If he sees you, he will be frightened and leave me in peace. You can say a word, pull a few strings eh? We will outwit those bastards as we outwitted all those others. (clutching his hand) Godfather, don’t betray me.

If it all is true, then what are we afraid of? Our own self? Just makes me wonder…………….

“To each one his own”.

Coming Around....

2010-02-08T01:42:00.000-08:00

I had been putting this off to never in this lifetime. I found it so not-my-taste to speak of the least. But I knew I had to come around, and so had this post. Maybe it was long overdue, so here I go.

Dev D – To begin with, the movie is very dark, not just in its theme and depiction but also in its intelligent cinematography. Closed spaces and dimly-lit rooms have added that hard-hitting punch to the ubiquitously present gloom that most scenes depict. The director’s vision and essence of the scenes have been well-conveyed. Also, the director/story-writer/actors have pulled off their acts with flamboyancy and flair.

As the movie progressed, I realized that it’s been sewed together with pain and just that! And the director has left no leaf unturned in connecting the audience with it. So you always see Dev trying to “inconveniently” hide it behind those dark glasses, cigarette smoke or just struggle to rise above it or run away from it, taking refuge in alcohol, drugs and sex. It is a portrayal of such gut-wrenching pain that it suffocates you and yet you breath just about enough to sit through this saga of self-destruction, just hoping; with whatever scraps of optimism that remain untouched in you; that it would end - not a HAPPY ENDING; but just that this pain would end some point later.

An interesting and ironic part of the movie comes across amidst this sardonic essay – the relationship between Dev and Chanda. They have never really sought company of each other to lessen their personal miseries – much against the worldly belief we have grown up on that says misery seeks company. It always felt that they were reaching out to each other and in whatever way possible they could, they were trying their best to pull out the other from his/her pit of melancholy.

Two scenes I shall always reminisce clearly: The scene where his mother curses him at the funeral of his father. It was the only scene in the movie where he is shown to be crying literally. It conveyed that behind every mistake, behind every wronged person or deed, the victim is begging for forgiveness and acceptance. The other scene was almost at the end of the movie, which almost everyone would have noticed as being different. Here is when Dev escapes miraculously from being the headline for newspapers as the speeding car gives him a miss on its way into ramming into a wall very close to him. The morbidity of the entire saga is transformed that would find an affirmation in the audience’s minds with that deeply rooted feeling inherent to us all – of hope that the sun shines brightest after the darkest of clouds have passed on. Dev, here, finally realizes the worth of his life, his folly of putting himself through those horrendous atrocities and finally accepts the path that was long awaiting him.

He knew that he finally had to come around – like we all do – to himself….

"If it isn't madness, it isn't love"

Isn't it a wonder.....

2010-02-07T20:26:00.001-08:00

Isn’t it a wonder how the twilight slowly turns into night?
Isn’t it a wonder how her hand fits into his just right?

Isn’t it a wonder that distances brings people closer?
Isn’t it a wonder that the memories of a forgone past are a man’s real treasure?

Isn’t it a wonder that the beauty of the divine is seen in a new-born child?
Isn’t it a wonder that the toughest of men have, but on the bosom of a woman, helplessly cried?

Isn’t it a wonder that you really ever want is to be loved and give out love?
Isn’t it a wonder how faith works miracles for a seeker who has the will and the verve?

Isn’t it a wonder that a glass of beer can get you high?
Isn’t it a wonder that, even though living out each day, everyone wants to “live once before they die”?

Isn’t it a wonder when something feels amiss when everything works in rhythm and harmony?
Isn’t it a wonder that the events of our lives are but His perfectly orchestrated symphony?

Isn’t it a wonder that these wonders strike you in the silence of the night?
Isn’t it a wonder that even though I am wide awake, my next line will say:
Sweet Dreams & Good Night! :)

From Light to Darkness to YOU!

2009-12-27T00:25:00.000-08:00

The Lord said “Let there be light” and the earth was created. Well, this Christmas, a gentleman said, “Let there be darkness” and magic was manifested.

The magical spell of the darkness stayed on. It stayed on even when the darkness slowly transformed into light and reality. It stayed on even as the sunlight was ushered in through the tiny door down the hall-way. It stayed on even after the tiny beam of light from “somewhere up above” ceased to illuminate the magnanimous screen before me. It stayed on even as I walked through the same tiny door with the multitudes as they chirped gleefully to forage the perfect place to relieve their itching taste-buds and satiate their gastric yearnings. It stayed on my way back home – totally oblivious to everything around me. It stayed on as I write this. It probably has stayed on you as you read this.

What was it about 3 Idiots that struck a chord almost instantly with everyone who saw it? What was it about the director’s rendition of an author’s possibly embellished story of three students slugging it out for four years through the lows of dismal scores and the highs of booze with all the circus happening around holding them in place between the two extremes and keeping us entertained all through? No doubt that its depiction of emotions was so flawlessly real – so much so that it must have made you pull out a handkerchief and dab your moist eyes at some point in time in the movie. As also did it get you laughing so hard that your teeth and cheeks hurt after a long time as you clenched on to your tummy and your seat. It must have sent you on a trip down the memory lane – making all the people and places come alive and flash past your eyes that have oh! so very touched your lives! I was struggling to find and pin point to that one particular magical ingredient that did us all in! But then it struck me – it was us! Each and every single one of us! The portrayal of characters, events, and emotions – all of it was all that we have been through in our own lives! It truly was just us!

Accolades, applauses and laurels to the director. This movie is a testimony to the message that it gives out – Pursue excellence in your passion and success would have to follow you!

The song goes – AALLL IJJJ WELL! Ah well, my take-home from the movie – All is, well, within you! :-)

NUMB!!!

2009-11-08T01:06:00.000-08:00

As emotionless and expressionless state of being the word is associated with, it is a feeling altogether - quite rightly of its own.

There are highs and there are lows and somewhere in between the two is the transition - a state where this four letter word stands tall, with its feet apart, hands at the waist, and stares down at you with it's lifeless eyes. It needn't push or scare away any emotion wanting to peek out to the surface, it's presence makes them all to simply not be there!

I contemplate - Is it the vestige of the night before - witnessing the deliriousness that life puts your very loved ones through? Or are you identifying with it as something of your own!

Numb - your mind, Numb - your soul.
Numbness devouring the shimmer of your eyes
Numbness - like the eternal dark hole!
No wait!!! Numb - I don't want to be no more!

A flash and a blink later I say - B'bye Pink Floyd! Led Zep - Here I come!

Random Rhymes

2009-08-31T09:41:00.000-07:00

No one knows what the future holds..

Maybe the gems, the pearls, the diamonds or the golds..

Let the mystery reveal itself before your eyes....the puzzle of the pictures - we call life

Yet another piece to comprehend each day...each one seeks a place that fits the perfect way

Its all there before your eyes - the colors, the hues, the darks and the lights

you place each one - each day and each night

Time passes by and slowly it all begins to comes through....

As it is being done, a beautiful image is unfolding back at you!

Then you realize why it took so long

and why didn’t it fit it in when it had all been there all along...

VOTE!!!

2009-04-20T08:59:00.000-07:00

Election season around the corner, another reason to rejoice - yep, another holiday!! :P

There, however, is a far graver importance to it than just that.

I registered to vote finally and am feeling thrilled about it - a right the Constitution of India has empowered each of us with.

Each passing day, we live our lives with a hope of a better tomorrow - a good future for ourselves and our loved ones. We strive harder

each day to see ourselves coming nearer to that dream - pushing ourselves to our limits, and then again, a little more. What has

this got to do with voting you would ask? Well, I'd say, just about everything. Putting aside the facilities (roads, rail, water, electricity etc)

that we expect from the Government, the quality of life would also be a direct result of the kind of leader who comes to power. For,

they shall decide the taxes we will pay, they shall decide the education our kids will get, it will be their decision which will affect the

businesses and our jobs. WE cannot change the decisions they make , but WE can decide who will make those decisions.

This time, just for a change, Vote for all those things that you want to change...VOTE for change..VOTE for YOURSELF! :)

PS: Check this link to make an informed choice: http://www.mumbaivotes.com/

On a Lazy Saturday afternoon....

2009-01-31T00:20:00.000-08:00

Hurray!!! It is FRIDAY!!!! I rejoice in the silence of the morning and I smile. The smile stays day long – untouched and unscathed by anything and everything around me. Work, travel, food, chats, coding, mail-forwarding and awaiting the clock to strike 5.30 – hey, I do the same things on each of the weekdays, but today I don’t mind staying back until 9.30, today, I smile if I miss the bus and am happy to get my share of adventure – yeah, the uncertainty of the BEST bus coming on time, barging through the doors of the right bus at the very sight of it, hustling through the crowds and what not - that’s quite an adrenaline rush!!! And finally, when the day is done, the PC is switched off and the card is swiped the last time for the week, I attain Nirvana as I head back home. For the weekend is here!!!

Last weekend was quite different though, not just because it was an extended one, but for the realization that dawned upon me. The much-awaited weekends in Mumbai are spent in lazing around on Saturday afternoons, wondering what to do in the evenings, going to the mall/shopping/having pizzas on Sunday. The common thing here is not just the activities – it’s the crowds everywhere. It makes up for the train travel absent in some blessed peoples lives on the weekdays and assures them that they have not been outcast – they still are Mumbaikars! It all too rushes before the eyes and before you know it, BANG! Its over!! And yet another long wait for until the next one…

Imagine this – you are walking bare-feet on the white sands, the subtle waves of the sea beckon you, you trudge over and wade through the waters – so clear that you see your feet and your reflection in it. The early morning sun is still lazy to wake up and come out – it is hidden behind its blue and white blankets of the clouds. Far, far away, to your left and to your right, there is NO ONE!! The tranquility in the air is enlivening as it enthralls your senses. The experience – Divine!

It was a marvelous discovery and a humbling realization that just beyond the precincts of this concrete jungle and its multitude faces – their artificial smiles, restless minds and worn-out feet from running in the rat race – there is place where you meet someone very very special – Your Self! And then you realize, you cannot ever attain Nirvana, for Nirvana is you.

3 days of death & 4 days to live

2008-08-18T09:46:00.000-07:00

Life’s ironies are best understood or explained when one is put in such a situation and one doesn’t realize! It is then that all the logics that the mind has grown up believing in and all the practicality of thoughts that one moulds one’s life upon are simply banished by the same mind that nurtures them for so long – the mind that had failed to see the reality shinning right before it – the truth ,the light , the life! In my case, it was my own self.

Irony is that one word which tries to explain or justify all the mystical ways in which life works. Today, the word has shown me that there is no mystery to life – it just is!

And somehow I do not wonder…..

Am I dead or am I alive??

I had wanted to die before I could be alive and irony did just that and how! – I never realized!

Just Another Day In Paradise

2007-09-02T22:37:00.000-07:00

I hear the bells toll away in a church nearby. I look at my watch and just while I am looking, I realize the futility of it. “Time here takes a backseat”, I say to myself.

I smile…and I walk on.

I hear my footsteps on the wet road. The air is cool and fragrant- it is intoxicating. The trees on either side of the road seem to agree with me, for their branches were swaying in affirmation to my thoughts. I pass by houses- radiant, bright, and vibrant with colours of red, purple, yellow, blue. It looks as if the rainbow has come down on the earth in the form of these houses. They are all reminiscent and so very alive with the era that made them. They seem eager to tell me stories of that era. I strain my eyes and ears. Neither do my eyes see anything, nor do my ears hear anything. Strangely enough, my heart experiences it. It is overwhelming. “How I wish I lived here...” I say to myself.

I smile…and I walk on.

I do not realize on which turn the road beneath my feet gave away to the vast expanse of white sand. I do not realize when the landscape around me gradually opened up to the ocean. I do not realize when the sun, hidden behind the clouds, slowly descended into the water.

Nevertheless, I do realize the presence of the One who created it all- this beauty, this nature, this serenity. That timeless moment, that enthralling beauty, that divine realization is forever to stay in my memory.

I go down on my knees and kiss the air as if I were kissing the hand of the One who created it. I whisper “Thank You” to the winds while looking up at the sky.

I smile…and I walk on.

The night falls. It begins to rain lightly. I soak in the rain- not literally, but figuratively. I soak in the sound of the rain- the beautiful music it creates when it falls on the roof above, the tress around and the ground below. I soak in its sweet fragrance- the fragrance the earth emanates as if it were expressing gratitude to the sky. I soak in its sights- and the beauty it creates around me. “Oh yes!” I say to myself. My friend has rightfully said-Heaven is Green.

I smile…and I cannot walk away from this.

Far, far away in the distance, I see a lighthouse. I have always seen it as a symbol of hope and faith with its light spreading across miles- on both land and sea. For travelers and seekers lost in search of their destinies and quests, this “Tower of Illumination” guides them along. However, its light is never fixed in one direction. It goes around and comes back, for there are people everywhere who need its light to move on.

It strikes me then. I cannot stay here forever. I must go back to move on- move on to bigger and better things in life. The lighthouse showed me the path to my “Stairway to Heaven” in a better light- the way I never saw before. “I will come back again”, I say to myself.

I smile…and I walk on…

LOGIC 1 OR LOGIC 0 ?

2007-05-01T09:47:00.000-07:00

It is really funny the way life teaches you its lessons. It is so ironical that once “impossible situations” now seem like nothing-nothing that required so much of worrying. We have faced situations when we thought this was it, it was the end.

But the fact that you are reading this blog right now, with a smile on your face, reminiscing of those times can’t be a better proof of what I am saying here.

If you don’t believe me, check your heart, its still beating. Better still, look yourself in the mirror- yeah! That’s the smile I am talking about.

Today, life taught me an interesting lesson-something that I been studying about for the last six years, but never realized it.

Being a student of digital electronics, I would explain it in the technical jargon.
The world of digital electronics lies only on this basic concept- Logic 1 & Logic 0.
The most universal explanation of it would be a switch. It can either be ON (Logic 1).
Or it can be OFF (Logic 0). No two ways about it. No middle path exists there.

So, you can either be happy or sad. You can either be sane or mad! (Hey, it rhymes!).
You can be alive or dead. The choice is YOURS. It is what you decide to choose.

Today, I realized that when facing life or rather living life, it is I who decide whether to be happy or not. Whatever circumstances life may show or to wherever it may lead me, the decision to be happy or cringe about it is entirely mine. And know what, I even realized today that it is easier to smile through it. For I was cribbing over something that I have no control over. This thought immediately made me realize my foolishness, and pop came the grin – out of nowhere!

Like they say: “The world is your sky,

Just spread your wings and fly”.

HAPPY DAYS

2007-03-10T09:46:00.000-08:00

“HAPPY DAYS”

Even as I get down to write this, my pencil moving across the paper, I realize that the clock is ticking away. Through seconds, minutes and hours, time will fly by just as it has all my life- especially the last two years.

Yes! My last two years! What do I say about it? Where do I find the words that would fill this page with the deepest feelings of my heart? Silence. That’s the only word that comes to my mind right now – when the feeling is profound and deep and the heart content, I realize that there can be no better way to describe it but through silence. So, “silently”,

I try to pen or rather “pencil down” my unexpressed feelings.

I had never ever imagined that engineering would bring out this creative aspect of mine- writing. So, I thought, what better way to pay tribute to engineering than by writing about it.

So where should I begin from??? My first tryst with failure? Or my awakening to the fact that engineering is about everything else but studying? Or about all those times when I had fallen into an abyss of sadness and yet managed to fight it off and gallop over to the acme of ecstasy? Over these two years, words like college, canteen, exam, submission, viva, practical, friends, study leave, professors no longer remained mere words but a memorable experience I would cherish for as long as I am alive.

Ah! I cannot write any more. Every single word evokes the same feelings in me as it does in you…

Time keeps ticking away. The sun rises and sets everyday. Watching a sunset is a beautiful feeling, isn’t it? The cool breeze blowing over you face. The warmth in your feet as you walk bare-foot on the sand. And then, getting your feet wet as you trudge

over to the sea to bid a final farewell to the sun. The last rays of the sun turning the sky orange- promising you that it will be there the next day and the day after –for eternity.

Yet, at the same beach, the sea washes away the imprints made on the sand. The sand trickles away from your fingers, no matter how hard you try to hold on, just like time.

That is what life is all about- moving on. Tomorrow we will let our lives lead us to our destinies. But the impressions made on our hearts will stay forever. And it will bring smiles on our faces and a lot many tears in our eyes every time we relive these days….

Let there be Light!

2007-03-10T09:43:00.000-08:00

“Let there be Light!”

….Thus spoke the Lord and the Earth was created-created out of nothing.

Many a times, there have been instances in my life when I have experienced an emptiness,a void. Looking back in retrospection at all those times, I have realized that the experience has just made me grow as a person. And it has always brought out the best of me-out of nothing.

This blog is an expression of the experience called void. You will find something new written here whenever life will make me stop and think for a while. Your appreciation and criticism are welcome with arms wide open. So do drop in a comment.

Let there be light…..